I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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