READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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