Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
