And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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