who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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