They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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