Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
