Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
