we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
