Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Randomize
