Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
