She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
