i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
