I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
