There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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