You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
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