he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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