he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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