rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
