How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
"it" just moved
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
