dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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