He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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