If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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