I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Randomize
