It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
