If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
