i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
