So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
