I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
