fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize