I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
