the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
