after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
