Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Green mimosas i think yes
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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