I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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