I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
