...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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