I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I skipped work to stalk him.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
PANTIES FOUND
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