I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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