why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize