my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
