Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
