I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
