Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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