I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
