She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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