I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
