kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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