She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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