So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
