I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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