do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
