well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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