I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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