So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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