i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
