all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize