So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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