naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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